2. Don’t go in any pub that has a England flag – it will be full of people that should be at work and that have skived-off for an entire month with a sore throat, to become partial alcoholics in the name of football.

3. Don’t open any tabloid newspaper – particularly the Sun – at any point as it will mostly be about Big Brother. Oh yeah, and football. That goes for after the World Cup also.

4. Do watch Wimbledon. It offers much needed grace and strawberries during a time of belches, chants and farts.

5. Don’t buy anything that’s made by any World Cup sponsor – it will only brainwash you into thinking you like football, with a system of carefully formatted graphics and probably some sort of competition to win a football keychain.

6. Do disrupt the national power grid by turning on as many electric kettles as possible during a pivotal World Cup moment. Which team is playing at that time is entirely up to participants.

7. Do look seriously at the prospect of space travel tourism, as it may be the only place you can’t connect to the BBC iPlayer.

8. Don’t watch Sky Sports News for longer than 10 minutes – it’s a bit like living through a permanently looped, football related ‘Groundhog Day’ without Bill Murray (sadly).

9. Do wear sound isolating earplugs to protect from those annoying horns that sound like a swarm of bees has nested on your face (I know they’re cultural but they hurt).

10. Do hibernate. You can’t avoid it. It’s on for a month, featured on every available media format possible, including ‘the very air we breathe’. Find an old war bunker or pillbox that’s not too gross inside, put some newspaper down and make a home for yourself. And don’t forget your earplugs in case England score.

Hilarious related links…

Angry girlfriend smashes her boyfriend’s TV during the England game:

Anti-World Cup Facebook group:

http://www.facebook.com/editalbum.php?oid=119026334807249&add=1&htmlup=1#!/group.php?gid=119026334807249

So if you think your blog articles or product descriptions could do with a little TLC then why not take some time applying the 4 points below:

1. Style of writing – trim the fat!

Clear concise words that get the point across are what you’re after. No one’s going to be impressed with long, winding sentences. If the reader wanted Tolstoy they would read ‘War and Peace’.

Yes, headlines are very important. But that’s not where the hard work finishes and it doesn’t give you license to start rambling on. It’s a cliché, but every word counts.

This doesn’t mean you can’t be creative; it does mean every sentence you construct needs a purpose. If you finish a sentence and aren’t sure of its purpose, then the chances are it doesn’t add anything to the piece. And as with everything in life, if it’s not needed, lose it.

2. Headlines – what’s in it for the reader?

Most people will read the headline but not the article. Sad I know, given all that hard work you’ve just put in. But get over it – you’re in a business where people vote with their mouse.

Your headline should offer something that the reader will gain if they continue to read. The best way of doing this is to trigger an emotion (excitement, fear – anything that causes a stir). If you manage that, you stand a much greater chance of them reading on.

E.g. 1 Cloud hosting – the ultimate web hosting solution

E.g. 2 Web hosting that improves speed and saves money

Example 1 tells us very little about what’s on offer and although it promotes the subject, there’s no reason for the reader to continue.

Example 2 tempts us to read with the exciting notion that we may increase the speed of our website and save money. Therefore we have something to gain by reading.

3. Don’t forget what you’re selling!

Don’t just say what you/your product can do; explain why what you or your product can do is a good thing. It’s about demonstrating your value to the customer in a tangible way that people easily understand.

It sounds obvious, but it’s also important to remember why you’re writing what you’re writing, and to return to the point of the article. So don’t forget to offer the reader what you are selling.

In a product description this will probably be an automatic process using a ‘Buy’ button, but if you’re writing an article it may be useful to include a link to a product or a services page.

4. SEO – don’t just regurgitate!

It’s very tempting to flood your copy with keywords that you’d like to appear in Google. Google spots ‘keyword stuffing’ and will penalise you for it – so it won’t do you any favours.

It’s best to use carefully selected keywords based on Google search terms that are relevant to your website. You also don’t want to annoy your customers by destroying decent copy by blasting it with repetitive words.

It’s also a bad idea to copy and paste manufacturer provided text for product descriptions. The chances are that’s what everyone else supplying that product has done. Google will penalise for duplicate copy – so if you want to get highly ranked, create your own original text per product.

We hope these few pointers have helped you gain an idea of what we at The Pixel regard as effective copywriting.

If you found this article useful and would like to know anything else about our copywriting services, please get in contact or have a look at copywriting services page.

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Can you really see a return on your investment?

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